so im shopping for make up for the girlfriend bc valentines day and holy fuck how do you girls afford this shit
$80 for eye shadow???
is it made out of unicorn shit
what is naked 3
why is it called naked
will it make her look naked
why is it $50
that’s 50 cheese burgers
i can’t deal with make up good bye
My parents aren’t home
You know what that means
*sits in the living room instead of sealing myself away in my room*
this is too accurate
*parents close the door*, *emerges slowly from room like an easily startled deer*
*Parents come home* *scurries back to room like frightened squirrel*
Y’all think this is a joke but it’s 100% accurate
tumblr has defiled my sense of humor and now I’m on this new tier of humor that no one in real life understands
i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole
my mom texted me a facebook screenshot of this today and said ‘sounds like something you would say LOL’ like u have no idea mom
"Your dress is too short."
Thanks, the designer used your dick for inspiration.
OH MYG OD
all i ever say is “ugh” because it can show confusion, lust, disgust and contempt, and that’s pretty much my life
I wanna be cuddled right now and have my back rubbed until I fall asleep.
*comes over to your house* *eats all your food* *leaves*
I feel so sad 😒